15 November, 2011

It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

I hope everyone had a fruitful week!  Unless you're not planning on bearing fruit just yet, or ever.

I'd like to thank all of my new readers and followers for your comments and questions.  I'd especially like to thank Mouthy Maven for her contributions to my sanity!  Thank you to the Regretsy forums as well!

I will soon be adding a page to Clever By Accident dedicated to answering your questions, so stay tuned!


The following account is based on actual events.
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Gather 'round folks and I shall tell you a tale..

Once, long ago, longer now than it seems....  WAIT, wait; sorry guys, that's The Nightmare Before Christmas!

My tale goes a little something like this:

Quite long ago, a man, let's call him Dave, was working on a project; his boss had instructed him to fashion a calendar.  Dave's boss said to make the calendar span a century; but Dave had other plans.  You see, Dave was a mathematical whiz, an OCD pioneer, and probably the first person with ADD*.

Dave made the calendar in a matter of weeks, some say days.  His boss was pleased and, seeing Dave's pride in his accomplishment, asked him if he would like to continue the calendar, adding another century or two.  Dave immediately accepted the offer and went straight to work on it.

Often working through the night, Dave completed another century, then another, and another.  Still Dave worked, obsessively, on his masterpiece; turning in a century here, two hundred years there; and his boss accepted each installment, far beyond what was asked of Dave.

Dave's wife, Gertie, began to grow worried; for many nights he had not lain with her.  So Gertie decided to find him a hobby that would tire him by early afternoon, so that he would come home and be the loving husband that he once was.

Gertie enlisted the help of Dave's best friend and hunting aficionado, Earl; who invited Dave to a day of hunting. Unfortunately for Gertie, killing animals was not Dave's idea of a good time, especially when there was calendaring to be done!

So Gertie and Earl tried another approach.  Earl told Dave about a new game in which a stick was hurled at a man who had to attempt to protect himself with a small rock; scoring was determined based upon A) whether or not the player remained alive or conscious, and B) how far from the player the stick landed.  Dave took an immediate interest, not because the game sounded fun (concussions were not a favorable condition for a mind such as Dave's), but because he thought that he might improve the players' chances of survival and make changes to the game that would make for good watching.

Due to Dave's obsession with the new game, his calendar making efforts fell by the wayside.  Dave's boss, asked Dave to turn in what was finished of the extensive calendar and, after many delays, and months of forgetting, Dave finally came to the conclusion that, if necessary, someone else would continue the calendar, maybe in a few decades or so.  Dave then turned in the last piece of his calendar.

Because of Dave's obsessive personality, and ultimately his ADD, his calendar has influenced people all over the world.

The calendar ended on a nice even date for Dave's community, but for us, it's December 21, 2012.

*Reference Needed

December 21, 2012 corresponds to the final day of the thirteenth b'ak'tun since the world was created according to the Mayan Calendar.  The b'ak'tun is a period of one hundred forty-four thousand days.

The following day, begins the fourteenth b'ak'tun, and millions of people will wake up on Earth to the sound of billions other people laughing at them because the world didn't end.

Laugh with me..

1 comment:

Susan said...

Love it. Good going Dave