Wives, Elves, and Electrocution

Apparently my wife has learned how to communicate monetarily:

Alex (looking at a Trader Joes ad): "Ooh, they have Chicken Sate.." (pauses for my reaction)

Me: "Oooh, wow. (then, realizing she's not catching my sarcasm) I don't know what that is."

Alex: "It's $9.99!"

Me: "Honey, I still don't know what it is.."

Alex: "But..it's $9.99.. Doesn't it sound good?"

Me: "But-I-..  Yeah, it sounds good."

I never did find out what it is, but I haven't cared enough to look it up.

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"mrphpmmmhmph..*crunch*...mrph...*munch*..hrmm....Damn I love these little almond cookies. DAMN YOU KEEBLER ELVES!!"

Though they're actually gnomes.  Don't believe me?

ELF:

Arwen

GNOME:

Garden Gnome

Questions? No? Good, now go buy almond crescent cookies so that the gnomes can earn their living.

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This season, do your loved ones a favor and don't electrocute yourself.  WHOA!!  Hey, calm down folks, I'm not saying don't get shocked; I don't want to ruin Christmas or Hanukkah for all of you!  After all, if anyone knows that happy little tingle of alternating current, it's me!  But just be careful.  Your home-brewed electrocution can really drive up the power bill; and your significant others will thank you for keeping the bill low!  (Just remember who told you this during..well, after your reward.. You can thank me later.)

Steve Jobs | 1955-2011

    When an innovator, a leader, dies; every life he's touched feels it.  His family, friends, coworkers, and rivals all feel the loss.

    Yesterday, October 5, 2011, Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, Inc. passed away.  I can only imagine the black hole that has suddenly appeared in the Jobs family's life.  His fellows at Apple feel the loss of a leader; and his one-time collaborator, friend and rival Bill Gates, feels the heavy absence left by a worthy and noble opponent.

    Steve Jobs' achievements and history can be found many places on and offline, so I won't rattle them off here with the simple carelessness of a list.

    You might read this and wonder what effect Jobs had on your life.  Look at your smartphone, your mp3 player, your tablet, laptop, or desktop.  If you are using an Apple product, it's based on Steve Jobs' imagination.  If you're using an Android phone or tablet; a touch-screen device; even a Windows PC: some part of each has been developed with Steve Jobs in mind, either by developing a product to compete with his, or to improve upon them.  You may not realize the effect(s) he's had on your life, but they are there.

Apple IIGS (1986)

     I am not a Mac fanboy, and while my first computer was 1986's Apple IIGS; I prefer Windows, but I wouldn't trade my iPhone for any other phone.

    We all have our differences, but one thing I hope we can agree on: Steve Jobs changed the world.

Goodbye Steve Jobs.

Rest Peacefully.

8-Bit Philosophy

    If you're reading this, you've probably played Super Mario Bros., or watched your kids play it, or watched your older siblings play it while wondering why the Xbox 360 is turned off.  Well, in any of those cases, you've probably noticed that the first enemy Mario (or Luigi) encounters is the "Goomba."  When Mario stomps on a Goomba they flatten and disappear.  (Duh Nate, is this a walkthrough or what?)

    I assume that the Goombas are stomped so hard that their mushroomy bodies are ground into the cracks of the cobblestone ground that spans the Mario world(s).  The philosophy part comes in here:  When Mario picks up the fire flower and gains the fireball throwing demigod power; we can actually see the souls of the Goombas descend into Hell!  WTF Nate!? (Although Dad is thinking: WTF Nathan!? Hi Dad!)

    Well! I'll tell you WTF!!  When Mario throws a fireball at a Goomba, does it flatten? No. Does it get ground into the road? No.  The Goomba falls down through the road and out of frame.  Now, assume with me for a moment that: fire is more destructive than a plumber's foot.  Which, it is; and a magical fireball thrown from Mario's hand must be much more powerful; and finally, one does not simply float through the ground, PHYSICS PEOPLE!!

    Thus: Mario's fireball instantly disintegrates the Goomba and we are witness to its soul floating into Hell.