30 September, 2011

Obsessive Compulsive Douchery

I cannot stand it when some inconsiderate douche-bag is using my preferred left side sink to wash his hands while I awkwardly wait, refusing to use the middle, or right side, in a ridiculous attempt to satisfy my OCD.  No no!  I have to be the stupid loner hanging out waiting to put soap and water on his hands at this sink, because it's the one I have to use.  This after taking what seemed like an eternity to piss at MY left side urinal!  We're men! We pee standing up!  Gravity should do most of the work, but apparently I'm the only guy in this office who can empty the entire contents of his bladder in about 15 seconds or less.  I'd understand if these guys were older, but some are younger than I am and taking a ridiculous two full minutes!?!?  Ugh.  At least I didn't creepily urinal-stalk as well as sink stalk; there's a left side stall at least.

OH! And I had a Hallow'een sized bag of regular M&Ms and the same size bag of Peanut M&Ms, and do you know what?  They BOTH had an ODD number of M&Ms in them!! I mean what the hell?!?!

1 comment:

Jan Parsneau said...

oustoHmmmmmmm. The things one learns about people when they rant. So what if...just hypothetically speaking...there were only one sink? Does that 'remove' the problem or does that create a greater problem because it is 'both' right and left sided? I've often wondered that about you OCDers. I don't consider the fact that everything has to be in "odd" numbers an OCD trait, however, it must be. Like your 'left' sink, there can only be 1,3,5,7,9,etc. Causes a real problem when asked to clap on 2 and 4. LOL. I understand your frustration with waiting for people who have no perception of elimination. It is a 'function' not an occupation or a work-break. Amazing.
Love your rant.