19 December, 2011

Ouch, this thing is eating my legs..

Hey hey!  So, how are all of my clever little accidents? Good? Fantastic!!

I, through the magic of prescription drugs (or possibly because I've had less), have been less depressed lately.  It's a great day when you can look at a gibbon situation and think of the possible positive outcomes, rather than the inevitable failemur.  I've always been an optimist though; and yes- before you ask- it is weird to be a sad, depressed little optimist.

For example, an optimist sees the glass as "half full," the pessimist sees it as "half empty," but the depressed optimist sees the glass as "half full, but it's all the way over there and I just don't care about the water that much.."  Sad, no?  Again, the optimist says that the day is "pleasant and sunny," whereas the pessimist says: "it will probably rain as soon as I go outside," but the depressed optimist will say: "it's pleasant and sunny outside..frickin' sun; what does it have to be so happy about?"  One more:  The optimist will think: "ouch!  This velociraptor is eating my legs and, while it hurts, I'll probably survive and end up using some cool, new, bionic legs!"  While, the pessimist would think: "ouch!  This velociraptor is eating my legs, it hurts and my torso is probably next.  Great, now I'm going to end up as dinosaur poo."  But I, the depressed optimist would have thought: "ouch! This velociraptor is eating my legs.  Oh well, I probably deserve to be dinosaur poo."
So!  While my humor may fail me every now-and-always; at least it won't be sad.  Monkey.


Andie said...

For the record...I think I just peed my office chair...that was funny.

Anthony said...

It's no accident that you're clever my son! That was great! Nice Monkey quote!