Wives, Elves, and Electrocution

Apparently my wife has learned how to communicate monetarily:

Alex (looking at a Trader Joes ad): "Ooh, they have Chicken Sate.." (pauses for my reaction)

Me: "Oooh, wow. (then, realizing she's not catching my sarcasm) I don't know what that is."

Alex: "It's $9.99!"

Me: "Honey, I still don't know what it is.."

Alex: "But..it's $9.99.. Doesn't it sound good?"

Me: "But-I-..  Yeah, it sounds good."

I never did find out what it is, but I haven't cared enough to look it up.

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"mrphpmmmhmph..*crunch*...mrph...*munch*..hrmm....Damn I love these little almond cookies. DAMN YOU KEEBLER ELVES!!"

Though they're actually gnomes.  Don't believe me?

ELF:

Arwen

GNOME:

Garden Gnome

Questions? No? Good, now go buy almond crescent cookies so that the gnomes can earn their living.

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This season, do your loved ones a favor and don't electrocute yourself.  WHOA!!  Hey, calm down folks, I'm not saying don't get shocked; I don't want to ruin Christmas or Hanukkah for all of you!  After all, if anyone knows that happy little tingle of alternating current, it's me!  But just be careful.  Your home-brewed electrocution can really drive up the power bill; and your significant others will thank you for keeping the bill low!  (Just remember who told you this during..well, after your reward.. You can thank me later.)